So I'm sitting here, right, thinking about Skins. As per usual lol, and I thought... why not put this to good use? And quoteage is my thing so... these are some of my favourite quotes from all four seasons so far. There are of course some great quotes that aren't here...
And of course I must warn you of imminent swearing. Alot of it. :P
Season One:
[A squatter shoves a naked Chris out of his own house after they fought]
Squatter: Listen, take a while, calm down, maybe take a day or two and then we'll talk about it, alright?
Chris: It's my fucking house!
Squatter: I don't make the rules, man, I don't make the rules.
Sid: It's not a nightlight! It's a glow in the dark batman... it's retro.
Sid: [to himself] Every time. Every fucking time. "Buy three ounces of weed, Sidney." Oh yes, sir. "Shove a bag of pills up your ass, Sidney." Oh, right away. "Come help me save some random bint." Oh, could I? What have we learned, Sidney? Your friends are shitheads.
Tony: Just you and me, sis.
Effy: Fucking wanker.
Tony: Eff, what are you talking about?
Effy: Michelle.
Tony: I tried.
Effy: No. Wanker.
Tony: I said sorry!
Effy: Wanker.
Tony: Effy. I liked it better when you didn't talk.
Effy: [pause] Wanker.
Season Two:
Chris: Right, I've been to the job centre yeah, and they're a bit.. well they're all fuc—
Josie: Fuddy-duddies.
Chris: Yeah! Yeah, they are fuddy-duddies! Right, they're like, "just queue up here, fill in this box here, don't steal that. Right, it's a load of cra—"
Josie: Cranberry juice. [offers Chris a carton] Would you want...?
Chris: Thanks. Anyway, there's this one lady there, I've never met such a big fat bit—
Josie: Biscuit. [offers Chris a jar] Do you want a biscuit?
[Chris takes a biscuit and eats it]
Josie: How can I help?
Chris: Well, I'm thinking, seeing as you're a careers officer...
[Josie thinks heavily]
Chris: ...I thought.. you could... you know...
[Josie still thinking heavily]
Chris: ...help me get a job.
Josie: Oh yeah! Totally!
Chris: Yeah!? Fucking ace!
[Josie points to a sign that says "Be daring, try to express yourself without swearing."]
Josie: [quietly] Chris, stop swearing..
Chris: So I told him he was a pitty boss and a pastard, and he could pucking shove his pucked polo up his packside! Stupid prick!
Josie: I think one slipped through there Chris...
Chris: [thinks] Stupid punt.
Cassie: Do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before... try and keep that feeling, because... if it goes... you'll never get it back
Chris: What happens then?
Cassie: You lay waste to the world... and everything in it.
Cassie: I'll love you forever, Sid.
Sid: You will?
Cassie: Yes. That's the problem.
Michelle: I'm not saying forget about him [Chris], because you can't and you shouldn't. He was special. But I, I just think... Fuck it.
Jal: What?
Michelle: Like Chris. He said fuck it, I'll do it my way. And the people that love me will understand why I'm doing it because they love me.
Season Three:
[The new characters introduce themselves]
Pandora: I'm Pandora. I'm useless.
JJ: I'm JJ. With regard to mathematic aptitude I'm in the top 0.3% of the population which is an interesting demographic statistic because paradoxically my communication interpersonal and intuitive skills are towards the lower quartiles.
Katie: I'm Katie. I've never not had a boyfriend since I was seven.
Emily: I'm Emily. Never had a boyfriend.
Naomi: I'm Naomi. I hate injustice. People tell lies about me.
Effy: I'm Effy and I think my mum's having an affair.
Freddie: I'm Freddie. I met a girl I liked today. She's like beautiful. That's it.
Pandora: [running off] Come on! We can do brownies and then lick our bowls out.
Katie: Do you think she knows she sounds filthy half the time?
Effy: Sometimes I wonder.
JJ: If Freddie was here...
Cook: Do you see Freddie? Did we invite Freddie?
JJ: No...
Cook: And why didn't we invite him?
JJ: Because he's a fun sponge.
Cook: You got it.
Effy: I wanted to see what was in your shed.
Freddie: My...?
Effy: Shed. Everyone says you have a marvellous shed.
Freddie: Everyone?
Effy: Yeah, it's marvelled at.
[They enter the shed]
Freddie: So this is it.
Effy: So what do you and the boys do in here? Braid each others hair and play soggy biscuit?
Freddie: No. [beat] Not for ages.
Freddie: We'd be good together. Don't you think?
Effy: No.
Freddie: Why?
Effy: Because I'll break your heart.
Freddie: Maybe I'll break yours.
Effy: Nobody breaks my heart. And anyway, why would I want that?
Anthea: Love, she's gone.
Cook: Ok, what time's she back?
Anthea: Not till tomorrow. They've gone to some party at Gobbler's End.
Cook: Nah, because... we're supposed to hang out tonight!
Anthea: Is that before you broke up or after?
Cook: But... I bought a fucking gâteau! Black Forest!
Anthea: Ooh, my favourite. [Takes cake and shuts the door]
Season Four
[Katie trips Candy from behind; Candy gets up, pushes Katie]
Candy: Who the fuck do you think you are??
[Katie punches Candy in the nose; Candy falls to the ground again]
Katie: I'm Katie fucking Fitch! Who the fuck are you??
T. Love: What would Michael say?
Freddie: Pardon?
T. Love: [motions to his Michael Jackson poster] Michael. What would he say?
Freddie: I'm... bad?
T. Love: Yes. And what else?
Freddie: Beat it?
T. Love: No. He'd say "gotta be startin' somethin'". Okay? [silence] Don't you think you should be leaving?
Freddie: Right now? [Mr. Love responds in the affirmative; Freddie leaves.]
Effy: You're no good for me, Cook. You never were.
Cook: If this was us meeting for the first time, I'd do it all again. Everything. The fucks, the fuck ups, everything. I'd do it all again.
Effy: What's that supposed to mean?
Cook: It means I still love you.
Effy: Piss off.
Naomi: [steadily breaking down in tears] I loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12. It took me 3 years to pluck up the courage to speak to you and I was so scared of the way I felt, you know, loving a girl. I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch just to make it feel normal. I screwed guys to make it go away but it didn't work. When we got together, it scared the shit out of me because you were the one person who could ruin my life. I pushed you away. I made you think things were your fault but really, I was just terrified of pain. I screwed that girl, Sophia, to kind of spite you for having that hold on me and I'm a total fucking coward because [reaches into her bag] I got [pulls out tickets] these, these tickets to Goa for us 3 months ago but I... I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to be a slave to the way I feel about you. Can you understand? You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible because, really, I'd die for you. I love you. I love you so much it's killing me.
[Beat. Emily then kisses and hugs Naomi.]
Cook: I don't think you know what I am, mate.
John Foster: I think I do. You're nothing. [Cook nods sarcastically] You don't deserve that girl. And you know... I do.
Cook: [mockingly] I'm a fucking waste of space. I'm just a stupid kid. I got no sense. A criminal. I'm no fucking use, me. I am nothing. So, please... Please... Get it into, you know, into your bonce... that you killed my friend. And... [shrugs] I'm Cook. [John Foster smiles] I'm Cook! [throws a punch. Series ends]
Sigh. Feel the love. Who loves Skins? Who hopes Cook just killed Foster? Me.
